Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
