I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
