your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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