There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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