I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
