you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
