i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
