Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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