I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
