I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Someone came in the potted fern
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
