He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Randomize
