Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
