I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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