why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The chlamydia really affected his face.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
