i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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