And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
