yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Pants are for mortals
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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