I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize