Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
