I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I think I just sharted jello shots
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
