Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
