He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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