now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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