so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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