READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
