here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
