gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
