non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
