I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
