We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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