Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
