My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize