My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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