a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
