I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
