i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
