It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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