Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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