when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
