Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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