I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
