there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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