What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
