he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
