You're completely useless in the revolution.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
