Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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