Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
