i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
