i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
