when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
too bad you live with your parents still
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
