U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
