I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
