I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
