You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
where are my eyebrows?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
