the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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