we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
