Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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