tell your sister to shave her snatch
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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