last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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