how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
