Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
